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Brownielocks and The 3 Bears
The answers to the riddle
jokes are all under the Pilgrim's Hat!
Just place your cursor over the hat and the answer will appear.
The pilgrim hat is NOT a link!
1. Why don't you eat fish on Thanksgiving?
2. Rich people eat what on Thanksgiving?
3. Why was Plymouth Rock so brave?
4. Hippies put what on their Thanksgiving potatoes?
5. Teddy bears have what in common with turkeys?
6. Why was the quarterback crying during the game?
7. The Mayflower weighed how much?
8. What sound does a turkey's phone make?
9. On which holiday do you play a lot of jokes on people?
10. The pilgrims' cows came to America on what ship?
11. What do monsters have on their Thanksgiving table?
12. When the early settlers got sick, what did they take?
13. Why are so many new cars sold around Thanksgiving time?
14. What is big and green and goes "gobble, gobble?"
15. After Thanksgiving dinner, where did the pilgrims put their trash?
16. Where should you bury your Thanksgiving potatoes (if they die)?
17. Which side of the turkey has the juiciest meat?
18. Which Thanksgiving food has grandchildren?
19. At Thanksgiving dinner, which had should you use to butter your roll with?
20. What's inside a genie's turkey?
21. What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
22. What's the sleepiest thing at the Thanksgiving table?
23. What does a golfer like
to eat on Thanksgiving?
24. What did the
pilgrims have to clean after the first Thanksgiving dinner?
25. What do policemen eat on
26. What does a baseball
player put under his plate at Thanksgiving dinner?
27. The selfish pilgrims came to America on what ship?
28. What football game is played on Thanksgiving?
29. What game is played after eating too much at Thanksgiving dinner?
30. Which month is a
tailor's least favorite?
31. What did Miles Standish
say after the first Thanksgiving meal?
32. When a turkey picks his nose, what comes out?
33. What's bigger: A Football or A Baseball?
34. What would a British person gain by eating a Thanksgiving meal?
35. What does Frosty the Snowman eat on Thanksgiving?
36. What do goldfish say on Thanksgiving?
37. Which pilgrim cut the turkey at the first Thanksgiving feast?
38. What does a mother present say to the kid present on Thanksgiving?
39. What female is always asked to say the Thanksgiving blessing?
40. What do arithmetic teachers do on Thanksgiving?
41. How many cranberries grow on a bush?
42. Why did mom save some turkey for tomorrow?
43. What do ghosts eat on Thanksgiving?
44. Why did the Thanksgiving basket get in trouble at school?
45. What does Godzilla eat on Thanksgiving?
46. On the Thanksgiving, what's always in the middle of the table?
47. Which Thanksgiving beverage is sad?
48. What did the pilgrims use to bake cakes?
49. Why is Thanksgiving such an intelligent holiday?
50. Why do you go to grandmother's house on Thanksgiving?
51. What's a baby
52. What do you get when you
have Broomhilda on the beach with a turkey?
53. What do you get when you
cross a turkey with a banjo?
54. What goes "gobble,
gobble" and can see just as well from one end as from the other end?
55. What goes "gobble,
56. What goes, "gobble,
gobble, ha-ha-ha BOOM!?"
57. What goes "gobble,
gobble, ha-ha-ha PLOP!?"
58. What's full of raisins
and is on a secret mission?
59. What's red and round and
goes up and down, up and down?
60. What's orange and
falls off walls?
61. What did John
Alden wear on his feet?
62. What always comes at the
end of Thanksgiving?
63. Why is a turkey on Thanksgiving like a ghost the day after Halloween?
64. What's round, red and
65. If twenty Thanksgiving
turkeys told terrible tales, how many "t's" would there be in all?
A Thanksgiving Knock-Knock Joke Story
Ava seen a play about the first Thanksgiving?
Wanda be the turkey in the play?
Feather the last time, you have to be the turkey in the play!
Musket I be the turkey?
Hugo put this costume on now!
Howie am I suppose to walk in this turkey costume?
Wilma know it's me in this turkey costume?
Nadia your head when you say "Gobble! Gobble!"
Annie body seen the turkey?
Warrior been? Rehearsal has started.
Justin the nick of time!
Butter say your line now.
Mayflowers bloom by Plymouth rock.
Theresa green until Autumn.
Bean cooking all day.
Possum gravy on my potatoes.
Aida the whole pumpkin pie!
Poor turkey, he's hit in the neck, loses his head, they break his legs, knock the stuffing out of him, cut him to the heart and pick on him for weeks.
A lot of nice, fat turkeys would strut less if they could see into the future.
In many cases, Thanksgiving would be much more heartily enjoyed if it came BEFORE election day!
Last year on Thanksgiving, the childless farmer and his wife prayed for all their blessings. But, they also prayed that their loneliness of having no children be relieved. Their prayers were answered and the wife became pregnant. She gave birth to triplets! A friend remarked, "See, prayers are always answered." The farmer then then replied, "Yes, but I never prayed for a bumper crop like this!"
At Thanksgiving with her folks, single Sally prayed the following, "Oh Dear Lord, I'm thankful for all the blessing in my life. And, I'm not asking for this for myself. But please send my mother a son-in-law."
the same thing this year for Thanksgiving dinner as last year.
Last year we had a frozen turkey. For the first two hours in the stove he enjoyed it!
Last year we had Thanksgiving dinner at a roadside dinner. I had to say grace over grease!
The Puritans celebrated Thanksgiving because they were saved from the Indians. Lately, I think we've been celebrating because we were saved from the Puritans.
Last Thanksgiving my wife cooked the turkey in a microwave oven. We had to eat at 7:30 am.
Using a new recipe, my wife put the turkey in aluminum foil. She had to roast it until it was brown. Twenty-four hours later, the aluminum foil was still silver.
Our turkey was sick. All day long it had a thermometer in it.
This Thanksgiving try to be grateful for practical things. Like, be thankful the post office doesn't handle prayers.
If you're a turkey, the Bermuda Triangle is Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving dinner is a unique experience. It's like an orgy that's rated G.
Mark my words, the first person who comes up with a 22-pound turkey that can be cooked in a toast--has it made!
The average mother takes two whole days to prepare for Thanksgiving dinner but most kids don't really care. I have taken an informal but exhaustive poll of kids and have come to the conclusion that if Twinkies came with drumsticks, all turkeys would die of old age.
Our kids love Thanksgiving diner and it's all because we're learned how to draw a compromise between the old and the new. We have a 22-pound turkey -- but we stuff it with Big Macs.
Can you imagine paying (? Current cost) a pound for turkey? For the first time in history mothers are giving their kids candy. "Here, ruin your appetite."
I always try to invite someone to Thanksgiving dinner who's less fortunate than I am. And, each year they get harder to find.
My wife is never quite sure when to take a turkey out of the oven. But, her mother is a very practical teacher. She says the minute the turkey looks like it spent four weeks at Miami Beach it's time to take it out!
And after you've finished gorging yourself on a huge Thanksgiving dinner, be sure to watch one of those teeth-rattling, bone-crushing, gut-busting football games on TV. It always helps to know that someone is in more pain than you are.
Ah, Thanksgiving! The day that everyone is thankful -- except those on a diet.
Every year around Thanksgiving and Christmas you see such helpful articles on "How To Carve A Turkey". And, they're really practical. Now, if I can only find a butcher who sells those turkeys with the dotted lines on them.
John: I see thee cleaning hunting gear for the morrow. Dost thou plan on hunting
Pilgrim Samuel: Certainly not, John. I am shocked that thou would suggest it. I shall wear clothing as usual!
William: Why did Pilgrim James eat a candle, pray tell?
Pilgrim Daniel: I understand he was not very hungry and only wanted a light snack.
A man when
to get a turkey from a live poultry farm. "Do you have any turkeys going
cheap?" he asked.
"Nope," said the owner. "All our turkey go 'gobble, gobble, gobble.'"
can't wait to go to Grandma's for Thanksgiving. My cousin's going to be there,
and he has three feet!
Willie: Wow! How'd that happen?
Billy: I don't know. My aunt wrote my parents and said, "You won't recognize little Howie. He's grown another foot."
pig people are coming this Thanksgiving?
Dad: Who are the pig people?
Alma: Aunt Helen and Uncle Bob.
Dad: Whatever gave you the idea to call them pig people?
Alma: You. Last year you said that Aunt Helen was a crashing boar and Uncle Bob was a ham.
Mmmmm! That turkey smells good and it's not even done yet. How long will it be?
Mom: About the same length as it was before I put it into the oven, I suppose.
What would you like for dessert, Joey?
Joey: Pumpkin pie!
Grandma: Pumpkin pie, what, dear? Say the magic word.
Joey: I'm sorry, Grandma. Pumpkin pie, abracadabra!
Thanksgiving dinner was finished, Mort saw his little brother Sid in the
backyard, poking holes in the dirt and filling them in with birdseed.
"Why are you planting birdseed?" Mort asked.
"I'm growing next year's turkey," Sid replied.
(Serious and Funny)
If you can't feed one hundred people, then just feed one.
If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.
W. Clement Stone
I would rather be able to appreciate things I cannot have than to have things I am not able to appreciate.
Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.
Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.
"It is good that we should set aside a day in each year for Thanksgiving, but it would be better if we gave thanks every day. For the absence of thankfulness does not mean that we are merely ungrateful--- it means that we are missing the thrill of appreciation and pleasure. There seems to me no greater misfortune then having so much that all of it becomes meaningless; than wanting what you haven't, rather than what you have. Seven of the wisest words I know are, 'Only those are rich who desire little.' "
Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.
"The day of the Lord, as
all our days should be!"
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Thanksgiving is a typically American holiday...The lavish meal is a symbol of the fact that abundant consumption is the result and reward of production.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
George Bernard Shaw
"Thanks is one of the great traditional American holidays, and yet it did not originate in America. About three thousand years before it was observed in this country, God spoke to Moses in the days when the great host of Israelite slaves had just escaped from Egypt. They were having their first experience in the wilderness of Sinai. The original proclamation from God is reported in the 23rd chapter of Exodus, 16th verse---"Thou shalt keep the feast of harvest, the first fruits of thy labors, which thou hast sown in the field; and the feast of in-gathering, which is in the end of the year, when thou has gathered in they labors out of the field."
And though I ebb in worth, I'll flow in thanks.
"O give thanks unto the
Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth forever."
Grace isn't a little prayer you chant before receiving a
meal. It's a way to live.
Nothing purchased can come close to the renewed sense of
gratitude for having family
Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action.
I thank god for my handicaps; for through them I have found
myself, my work, and my God.
It is delightfully easy to thank God for the grace we ourselves have received, but it requires great grace to thank God always for the grace given to others.
"Let never day nor night
But still remember what the Lord hath done."
"Some people always sigh in thanking God."
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
There are four unbroken rules when it comes to Thanksgiving:
there must be turkey and dressing, cranberries, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin
If the only prayer you said in your whole life was,
"thank you," that would suffice.
What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours
to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes.
This is not coincidence.
You don稚 have to be afraid of praising God too much;
unlike humans He never gets a big head.
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
We're having something a little different this
year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more
"Here's a Thanksgiving tip. Generally, your turkey is not cooked enough if it passes you the cranberry sauce."
My whole problem is that all of my
favorite things at Thanksgiving are the starches, and everyone is trying to go
low-carb this year, even a green vegetable has carbs in it.
Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my
Here I am 5 o'clock in the morning stuffing bread crumbs
up a dead bird's butt.
the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving.
"I love Thanksgiving -- it's the only time in Los Angeles that you can see natural breasts."
Tell us Lord, what is it we
Of gratitude on this our thankful day?
Should prayers of thanks for food and health be said?
But daily prayers are for our daily bread.
No, this day calls for more than that--
A heart-deep, lasting, grateful thought
For inspiration, soaring, trouble-proof,
That you have given for a perplexed life.
This time of mem'ry of our origins,
Of folk whose faithful works outweigh their sins,
Who stood firm-rooted in their trust in You
Gives cause for deep rejoicing, it is true
Man can stand with fearless dignity
Amid his trials and turmoils sturdily
If, truly, reverence is his attitude.
For this sure knowledge, Lord, our gratitude.
John A. Howard
For the hay and the corn and
the wheat that is reaped,
For the labor well done, and the barns that are heaped,
For the sun and the dew and the sweet honeycomb,
For the rose and the song and the harvest brought home --
For the trade and the skill
and the wealth in our land,
For the cunning and strength of the workingman's hand,
For the good that our artists and poets have taught,
For the friendship that hope and affection have brought --
For the homes that with purest
affection are blest,
For the season of plenty and well-deserved rest,
For our country extending from sea unto sea;
The land that is known as the "Land of the Free" --
Our rural ancestors, with little blest,
Patient of labour when the end was rest,
Indulged the day that housed their annual grain,
With feasts, and off'rings, and a thankful strain.
We thank Thee, Lord for giving
Thy gift of bread and meat;
We thank Thee, too--a little more--
That we are here to eat!
The turkeys seem restless
The geese acting queer--
Can it be they are sensing
That day is 'most here?
Heap high the board with
plenteous cheer, and gather to the feast,
And toast the sturdy pilgrim band whose courage never ceased.
Give praise to that All-Gracious One by whom their steps were led.
And, thanks unto the harvest's Lord who sends our 'daily bread.'
Alice Williams Brotherton
So once in every year we
Upon a day apart,
To praise the Lord with feast and song
In thankfulness of heart.
Now that we all thank our God,
With heart and hand and voices.
Who wondrous things hath done,
In whom His world rejoices.
Oh, I'm Glad I'm Not A
(This can be sung to the children's tune of "Have You Ever Seen a Lassie?)
Oh, I知 glad I知 not a turkey,
A turkey, a turkey.
Oh, I知 glad I知 not a turkey
On Thanksgiving Day!
They値l stuff you and baste you.
And then they will taste you.
Oh, I知 glad I知 not a turkey
On Thanksgiving Day!
to observe Thanksgiving.
Count your blessings instead of your crosses;
Count your gains instead of your losses.
Count your joys instead of your woes;
Count your friends instead of your foes.
Count your smiles instead of your tears;
Count your courage instead of your fears.
Count your full years instead of your lean;
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.
Count your health instead of your wealth;
Count on God instead of yourself.
We've also made a few
Our History of Thanksgiving has a cartoon also.
Thanksgiving Bird Flu (2005)
Kiddie Table (2006)
Turkey Heaven (2007)
Turkey Planting (2007)
Turkey Cooking (2007)
Thanksgiving Restaurant Dining (2007)
Thanksgiving - Smoked Turkey (2008)
Thanksgiving - Macy's Balloon (2008)
Thanksgiving - Butterball Hotline (2008)
Thanksgiving - Turkey Migration (2008)
Thanksgiving - Wattle and Snood (2009)
Thanksgiving - Fast Eater (2010)
Thanksgiving Leftovers (2011)
Visit our other
besides Thanksgiving History
"Holiday Ha-Ha's - Thanksgiving Jokes + Riddles" by Craig Yoe
Penguin Young Readers Group ｩ 2003
"Turkey Ticklers and Other A-maize-ingly
Corny Thanksgiving Knock-Knock Jokes"
by Katy Hall and Lisa Eisenberg
Harper Collins Publishers ｩ 2000
[Note: I revised a few of these]
"Thanksgiving Knock-Knock Jokes and
Riddles" by Suzanne Lord
Scholastic Printers ｩ 1993
"The Toastmaster's Treasure Chest" by
Herbert V. Prochnow Sr. and Jr.
Harper and Row ｩ 1979
"5,600 Jokes for All Occasions" by
Mildred Meiers and Jack Knapp
Random House ｩ 1940, 1967 & 1980
"Milton Berle's Private Joke Book" by
Crown Publishers, Inc. ｩ 1989
"The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips and
One-Liners" by Geoff Tibballs
Caroll & Graff Publishers ｩ 2004
"2400 Jokes to Brighten Your
Speeches" by Robert Orben
Doubleday Publishing, Inc. ｩ 1976
"The Joke Teller's Handbook. 1,000 Belly
Laughs" by Robert Orben
Doubleday Publishing, Inc. . ｩ 1976
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