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Brownielocks and The 3 Bears
present

Some Things Don't Make Any Sense At All

My mom says I'm her sugarplum.
My mom says I'm her lamb.
My mom says I'm completely perfect
Just the way I am.
My mom says I'm a super-special wonderful terrific
Little guy.
My mom just had another baby.
Why?

By Judith Viorst

The Lizzie Pitofsky Poem

I can't get enoughsky
Of Lizzie Pitofsky.
I love her so much that it hurts.
I want her so terrible
I'd give her my gerbil
Plus twenty-two weeks of desserts.

I know that it's lovesky
'Cause Lizzie Pitofsky
Is turning me into a saint.
I smell like a rose,
I've stopped picking my nose,
And, I practically never say ain't.

I don't push and shovesky
'Cause Lizzie Pitofsky
Likes boys who are gentle and kind.
I'm not throwing rocks
And I'm changing my socks
(And to tell you the truth I don't mind.)

Put tacks in my shoes.
Feed me vinegar juice, 
And, do other mean bad awful stuffsky.
But promise me this:
I won't die without kiss-
Ing my glorious Lizzie Pitofsky.
By Judith Viorst

Night Fun

I hear eating.
I hear drinking.
I hear music.
I hear laughter.
Fun is something
Grownups never have
Before my bedtime.
Only after.
By Judith Viorst

Weird

My sister Stephanie's in love.
(I thought she hated boys.)
My brother had a yard sale and
Got rid of all his toys.
My mother started jogging, and
My dad shaved off his beard.
It's spring --- and everyone but me
Is acting really weird.
By Judith Viorst

Short Love Poem

It's hard to love
The tallest girl
When you're the shortest guy,
For every time
You try to look
Your true love in the eye
You see
Her bellybutton.
By Judith Viorst

Learning

I'm learning to say thank you.
And I'm learning to say please.
And I'm learning to use Kleenex,
Not my sweater, when I sneeze.
And I'm learning not to dribble.
And I'm learning not to slurp.
And I'm learning (though it sometimes really hurts me)
Not to burp.
And I'm learning to chew softer
When I eat corn on the cob.
And I'm learning that it's much
Much easier to be a slob.
By Judith Viorst

Mending

A giant hand inside my chest
Stretches out and takes
My heart within its mighty graps
And squeezes till it breaks.

A gentle hand inside my chest,
With mending tape and glue,
Patches up my heart until
It's almost good as new.

I ought to know by now that
Broken hearts will heal again.
But while I wait for glue and tape,
The pain!
The pain!
The pain!

By Judith Viorst

Apology

It's hard to say, "I'm sorry,"
Although I'm feeling sorry.
The "s" always sticks in my throat.
And, "I made a big mistake"
Would produce a bellyache
That might last till I was old enough to vote.

"Please forgive me" sounds real good.
And I'd say it if I could,
But, between the "forgive" and the "please"
I would have to go to bed
With a pounding in my head
And a very shaky feeling in my knees.

"I was wrong" seems oh so right.
But it gives me such a fright
That my "was" always turns into "ain't."
So I hope you'll take this rhyme
As my way of saying "I'm
Really sorry." Now excuse me while I faint.
By Judith Viorst

No

No. I refuse to.
No. I don't choose to.
No. I most certainly don't.
You've made a mistake
If you thought you could make
Me. No no no --- I won't.

No. You could beat me.
No. You could eat me
Up from my head to my toes.
And inside your belly,
Loudly and yelly,
I'd keep saying no's.

No you could sock me,
Feed me some broccoli,
Tickle me till I turned blue,
But in between giggles
And sniggles and wriggles
I'd say no to you.

No. You could tease me,
Please, pretty please me,
Cry till your eyes washed away.
You could beg till you're old,
But I'd look at you cold.
En-oh is what I'd say.

No. You could shove me.
No. You could love me.
With kisses all squishy and wet.
You could  scratch me with claws
But I'd say no, because
.....because.....because.....
I forget!
By Judith Viorst

Thank-You Note

I wanted small pierced earrings (gold).
You gave me slippers (gray).
My mother said that she would scold
Unless I wrote to say
How much I liked them.

Not much.
By Judith Viorst

Mother Doesn't Want A Dog

Mother doesn't want a dog.
Mother says they smell.
And never sit when you say sit,
Or even when you yell.
And when you come home late at night
And there is ice and snow,
You have to go back out because
The dumb dog has to go.

Mother doesn't want a dog.
Mother says they shed,
And always let the strangers in
And bark at friends instead,
And do disgraceful things on rugs,
And track mud on the floor,
And flop upon your bed at night
And snore their doggy snore.

Mother doesn't want a dog.
She's making a mistake.
Because, more than a dog, I think
She will not want this snake.

By Judith Viorst

Wicked Thoughts

The meanest girl I've ever met
Is Mary Ellen Wright.
And if a lion came along and
Ate her with one bite,
I'd cry and cry and cry and cry.
(But just to be polite.)
By Judith Viorst

Goodbye, Six -- Hello, Seven

I'm getting a higher bunk bed.
And I'm getting a bigger bike.
And I'm getting to cross Connecticut Avenue all by myself, if I like.
And I'm getting to help do dishes.
And I'm getting to weed the yard.
And I'm getting to think that seven
could be hard.
By Judith Viorst

Teddy Bear Poem

I threw away my teddy bear,
The one that lost his eye.
I threw him in the garage pail
(I thought I heard him cry.)

I've had that little teddy bear
Since I was only two.
But I'm much bigger now and
I've got better things to do

Than play with silly teddy bears.
And so I said good-bye
And threw him in the garbage pail.
(Who's crying -- he or I?)
By Judith Viorst

Remember Me

What will they say
When I've gone away:
He was handsome? He was fun?
He shared his gum? He wasn't
Too dumb or too smart> He
Played a good game of volley ball?
Or will they only say
He stepped in the dog doo
At Jimmy Altman's party?
By Judith Viorst

Since Hanna Moved Away

The tires on my bike are flat.
The sky is grouchy gray.
At least it sure feels like that
Since Hanna moved away.

Chocolate ice cream tastes like prunes.
December's come to stay.
They've taken back the Mays and Junes
Since Hanna moved away.

Flowers smell like halibut.
Velvet feels like hay.
Every handsome dog's a mutt
Since Hanna moved away.

Nothing's fun to laugh about.
Nothing's fun to play.
They call me, but I won't come out
Since Hanna moved away.
By Judith Viorst

I'm Waiting For A Rainbow

I'm waiting for a rainbow,
I'm waiting for the sun.
I'm waiting for the rain to stop
So I can play and run.

I know I should be patient,
But waiting's such a pain.
I guess I'll have to pass the time
Appreciating rain.
By Judy  Lalli 

Mistakes Can Be Good

Mistakes can be good.
They can help you grow.
They can show you what you need to know.

So whenever you make a mistake,
Just say:
"Now I'll try another way."
By Judy  Lalli

If I Promise To Do It

If I promise to do it,
I'll do it.
If I promise to go,
I'll be there.
If I promise to finish,
I'll finish.
Keeping my word
Shows I care.
By Judy  Lalli

Grandma Says

Grandma says I shouldn't lie,
The truth is always better.
I just hope she doesn't ask
If I like my birthday sweater.
By Judy  Lalli

Don't Say Crybaby!

Don't say "Crybaby!"
Don't say "Dummy!"
Teasing makes me
Feel so crummy.
Falling down
Can bruise my knees,
But words can hurt
Where no one sees.
By Judy  Lalli

I Can't Move It

I can't move it,
You can't move it,
It won't move an inch.
But if we work together,
Moving it's a cinch.
By Judy  Lalli

Five Little People

Five little people went out to play.

The first one said, "Do it my way!"
The second one said, "That's not fair!"
The third one said, "I don't care!"
The fourth one said, "This isn't fun!"
The fifth one said, "Our game is done!"

So five little people all walked away.
They never even got to play.
By Judy  Lalli

There Are Only Two Kinds of "I'm Sorry"

There are only two kinds of "I'm sorry,"
With no other kind in between.
There's the one that someone tells you to say,
And the one that you really mean.
By Judy  Lalli

Someday Someone Will Bet That 
You Can't Name All 50 States

California, Mississippi,
North and South Dakota,
New York, Jersey, Mexico and
Hampshire, Minnesota.
Vermont, Wisconsin, Oregon,
Connecticut and Maine.
Hawaii, Georgia, Maryland,
Virginia (West and plain).
Tennessee, Kentucky, Texas,
Illinois, Alaska.
Colorado, Utah, Florida,
Delaware, Nebraska.
The Carolinas (North and South)
Missouri, Idaho.
Plus Alabama, Washington,
And Indiana. O--
Klahoma. Also Iowa.
Arkansas, Montana.
Pennsylvania, Arizona
And Louisiana.
Ohio, Massachusetts, and
Nevada, Michigan,
Rhode Island, and Wyoming. That
Makes forty-nine. You win
As soon as you say ________.

KANSAS!!
Place your mouse over ball.
Missing State will appear.

By Judith Viorst

Credit

You asked me to do it.
I promised to do it.
I planned to do it.
I started to do it.
I really meant to do it
Except I forgot.
Couldn't I get some credit
For promising,
Planning,
Starting,
And really meaning to do it?
Guess not.
By Judith Viorst

It's A Wonderful World But They Made A Few Mistakes

It's a wonderful world, but they made a few mistakes.
Like leaving out unicorns and putting in snakes.
Like no magic carpets, no wishing wells, no genies.
Like good guys getting picked on by the meanies.
Like arithmetic, especially multiplication.
Like expecting a person to stay at home for one whole week with a sitter while that person's mother and father take a vacation.
Like needing to finish the green beans to get the dessert.
Like everyone caring way too much about dirt.
Like letting there be a cavity in a tooth.
Like calling it a lie when all that this person done is not mention  part of the truth.
Like raining on soccer games, and liver for supper.
Like bunk beds where the younger person always gets stuck with the lower and the older person always gets the upper.
Like leaving out mermaids and putting in splinters and beet stings and wars and tornadoes and stomach aches.
It's a wonderful world, but they made a few mistakes.
By Judith Viorst

Half Moonshine

The moon is the sun's silver mirror.
The moon is a chuck of green cheese.
The moon is the home of the man in the moon.
The moon tugs the tides of the seas.
The moon is where astronauts moon-walked.
A cow once jumped over it too.
Half of these stories are moonshine.
Half of these stories are true.

The moon has astonishing mountains,
Piercing the lonely moon sky.
The moon has a goddess -- Diana's her name.
The moon is a million miles high.
The moon marks each month as it passes
And has since the world first was new.
Which of these stories are moonshine?
Which of these stories are true?
By Judith Viorst

Hair

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Someone with youcrazy hair.
                                   Youcrazy hair?What does that mean?
When you dye your hair bright green,
Everybody asks,
"What are you, crazy?"
By Judith Viorst

Manners

Telling a lie is called wrong.
Telling the truth is called right.
Except when tell the truth is called bad manners
And telling a lie is called polite.
By Judith Viorst

The Hardest Thing

If you think that the hardest thing is saying you're wrong
when you've been wrong,
I think you should know
That the really hardest thing is, when you've been absolutely
right,
Not saying nyah, nyah, nyah, I told you so.
By Judith Viorst

Arithmetic

Two wrongs don't make a right.
So says my teacher, Mr. Brill.
Two wrongs don't make a right, say I.
But maybe four wrongs will.
By Judith Viorst

Don't Think

Don't think rivers.
Don't think fountains.
Don't think mountain streams or creeks.
Don't think pools or ponds or oceans.
Don't think lakes and don't think leaks.
Don't think wells or wet or water.
Don't think showers.
Don't think springs.
Don't think moist or damp or rainy.
Don't think hurricanes or things
That drizzle, dribble, drip, drop, flood or flow,
When there's no bathroom --- and you gotta go.
By Judith Viorst

When I Grow Up, I'm Going To Be A Lawyer

I wished a wish upon a star.
I heard that when you do,
You mustn't tell what you have wished
Or else it won't come true.
They asked my wish.
I wouldn't say.
It didn't come true anyway.
I'll sue.
By Judith Viorst

Check out our 
Poems for Children
by Adults

Check out our 
Poems About Food
by Children

Check out our 
Proverbs
by Children

Check out our 
Birthday Wishes
by Children

Check out our 
Kid Limericks

 

Sources:
"If I Were In Charge of The World and Other Worries" by Judith Viorst
Simon & Shuster Publishing 1981

"Sad Underwear" by Judith Viorst
Simon & Shuster Publishing 1995

"I Like Being Me" by Judy Lalli
Free Spirit Publishing 1997

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