In the last scene of Pagliacci, Canio stabs Neda, who is the one he really loves. Pretty soon, Silvio gets stabbed also and they all live happily ever after.

   Caruso was the first Italian. Then someone heard his voice and said he would go a long way. And so he came to America.

   Stradivarius sold his violins on the open market with no strings attached.

   The principle singer of the 19th-century opera was called pre-Madonna.

   At one time, singers had to use musicians to accompany them. Since synthesizers came along, singers can now play with themselves.

   All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.

   Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel. If they sing without music, it is called Acapulco.

   A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

   Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.

   Diatonic is a low-calorie Schwepps.

   Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys.

   A harp is a nude piano.

   A oboe is n American tramp. (written by a British student)

   A Stadivarius is a prehistoric animal.

   My favorite instrument is the bassoon. It is so hard to play, people seldom play it. That is why I like the bassoon the best.

   The main trouble with a French horn is it's too tangled up.

   An opera is a song of bigly size.

   An interval in music is the distance from one piano to the next.

   The correct way to find the key to a piece of music is to use a pitchfork.

   Agitato is a state of mind when one's finger slips in the midle of playing a piece of music.

   Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you'd better not try to sing.

   I know what a sexist is, but I'd rather not say.

   Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long ago. My favorite composer was opus. Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.

   Henry Purcell was a well-known composer few people have ever heard of.

    Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present.

   Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large.

   Beethoven wrote three symphonies: The Third, the Fifth and the Ninth. He wrote music even though he was deaf. Beethoven was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling him. I guess he could not hear so good. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this. Do you know that if Beethoven were alive today, he would be celebrating his 165th anniversary of his death?

   Rock Mananoff was a famous post-Romantic composer of piano concerti.

   Aaron Copeland is one of our most famous contemporary composers. It is unusual to be contemporary. Most composers do not live until they are dead.