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Part II


"Having one wife is called monotony," When a man has more than one wife he is a pigamist," "A man who marries twice commits bigotry," and "Acrimony is what a man gives his divorced wife."


Each Thanksgiving it is a tradition for my family to shoot peasants.


In nineteenth century Russia, the pheasants lead horrible lives.


When a boy and a girl are deeply in love, there is no quilt between them.


The girl tumbled down the stairs and lay prostitute at the bottom.


(This was written in the margin of a paper by the professor) --

"My dear sir, you must learn to distingquish between a fallen women and one who has merely slipped."


A virgin forest is a place where the hand of man has never set foot.


Although the patient has never been fatally ill before, he woke up dead.


I expected to enjoy the film, but that was before I saw it.


Arabs wear turbines on their heads.


When there are no fresh vegetables, you can always get canned.


It is bad manners to break your bread and roll in your soup.


The problem with intersexual swimming is that the boys often outstrip the girls.


Running is a unique experience, and I thank God for exposing me to the track team.


A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.


The dog ran across the lawn, emitting whelps all the way.


A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.


We had a longer holiday than usual this year because the school was closed for altercations.


The bowels are a, e, i, o u and sometimes w and y.


A passive verb is when the subject is the sufferer, as in "I am loved."


In "Great Expectations", Miss Havisham puts herself into conclusion.


The first scene I would like to analize occurs in "Heart of Darkness."


At the start of "The Grapes of Wrath", Oklahoma has been hit by a dust bowl.


At the end of "The Awakening, Edna thinks only of herself. Her suicide is selfish because she leaves all who care about her behind.


In "The Glass Menagerie" , Laura's leg keeps coming between her and other people.


The death of Francis Macomber was a turning point in his life.


The Gorgons had long snakes in their hair. They looked like women, only more horrible.


Zwingli's followers all smashed their organs.


Zanzibar is noted for its monkeys. The British governor lives there.


The Puritans thought every event significant because it was a massive from God.


The divine wind protected Japan by sinking the fleet of invading Mongrels.


During the years 1933-38, there were domestic problems at home as well as abroad.


The President of the United States, in having foreign affairs, has to have the consent of the Senate.


The difference between a king and a president is that a king is the son of his father, but the president isn't.


To collect sulphur, hold a deacon over a falme in a test tube.


H20 is hot water and CO2 is cold water.


Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.


A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.


The human is more intelligent than the beast becasue the human brain has more convulsions.


Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow, not the bull.


To be a good nurse, you must be absolutely sterile.


When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.


Many women believe that an alcoholic binge will have no ill effects on the unborn fetus, but that is a large misconception.


Rural life is lived mostly in the country.


Heredity means that if your grandfather didn't have any children, then your father probably wouldn't have any and neither would you, probably.


Last year many lives were caused by accidents.


Abstinence is a good thing if practiced in moderation.


The amount of education you have determines your loot in life.


Necessity is the mother of convention.


The Egyptians worshiped the god Onassis. They raped mummies in bandages. Rosetta Stone was the first queen of Egypt.


The Greeks didn't like flabby or fat bodies.


After the second invasion of Greece, the Athenians took refuse on their ships.


The Norman invasion was when King Harold owned England, but Norm wanted it.


Life during the Middle Ages was especially difficult for the pheasants.


The orders of brothers were the Franciscans, the Dominicans and the Cisterns.


The Spanish Inquisition tortured people with tongs and reg hot brassieres.


The term RENAISSANCE refers to the after-birth of learning. During the renaissance, people began to think for the first time.


Michelangelo illustrated the Sixteenth Chapter of the book "The Agony and the Ecstacy." We don't know who did the other fifteen, but they say it was one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.


My favorite character in English history is Henry VIII because he had eight wives and killed them all. Henry VIII lived in a two Door castle. During his reign, the head of the church fell into the hands of the King. Henry VIII thought so much of Wolsey that he made him a cardigan.


A popular form of entertainment in the 15th century was traveling menstrals.


Martin Luther is famous for nailing 95 Feces to the door in Wittenburg. He ate a diet of worms and died.


Unfortunately, Marie Ann Twinette was beheaded. After she died, she had very little chance to continue her career. During the French Revolution, many French nobles requested giblets rather than the guillotine.


Mexico was conquered by Kotex.


"I think, therefore I am" was said by the philosopher Day Cart.


Karl Marx declared that religion was the opinion of the people.


Then there was the Victorian Age, when nice ladies were considered virgins. In that day in time, when people conversated, they conversated proper and with good grammer. In yesteryear, sex was considered sacred and only attempted after marriage. Women wore a lot of accessories in the Victorian age, such as griddles.


The Mayflower Compact was a small ship that brought Columbus to America. Columbus knelt down, thanked God, and put the American flag in the ground. Tarzan is a short name for the American flag. It's full name is Tarzan Stripes.


The French settlement in North America consisted of a series of military fornication up and down the Ohio River.


America was founded by four fathers. The Declaration of Independence says all men are cremated equal and are well-endowed by their creator. The Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. The first amendment to the Constitution gives me the right to bare arms.


Bejamin Franklin got married and discovered electricity. When he went to the French court, he did not dress. They respected him.


George Washington was a very social man. He had big balls and everyone enjoyed them.


General Burgundy surrendered to Sara's toga.


Two hardships of the Civil War were the Monitor and the Merrimack.


Abraham Lincoln lived at the Gettysburg address. He wrote the exclamation proclamation. His pictures make him look thin and emancipated. Lincoln debated Kennedy on TV in 1960. Kennedy won because he looked good. Lincoln had pallor due to his assassination.


During the early part of World War I, President Wilson urged people to stay in neutral. In the War, the unfortunate soldiers spent day after day up to their wastes in filth.


The New Deal tried to make sure that the stock market will never happen.


Once of the major events of the twentieth Century was World War I, which made people so sad that it brought on something called the Great Depression. World War II happened when Hitler and the knotsies had erotic dreams of conquest all over Europe, but Franklin Roosevelt went over there to put a stop to him. Hitler committed suicide in his bunk. World War II ended on VD Day.


Martin Luther was born in Germany and had a dream. He went to Washington and told his Sermon on the Monument. Later, he nailed 96 Protestants in the Watergate scandal, which made a new religious and rasial morality in the United States.


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