Note: Animations
load frame by frame. Please be patient as this page has two.
Lightning scratched across the sky like chalk
on a blackboard, and was just as irritating. Or perhaps ....
Typing isn't easy when you're a teddy bear
with paws.
Billy is more of a two-thumb typer and does
like 16 wpm.
The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
Part I
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Goofy name for a contest right? So what is it all about?
Your mission (if you
choose to accept it) is to write the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels.
How did this all
begin?
"It was a dark
and stormy night..." is what many people quote when joking about
starting a mystery novel. Its original author is Edward George Bulwer-Lytton,
in the novel "Paul Clifford" written in
1830. This dumb cliché is 173 years old! I wonder if Mr. Bulwer-Lytton ever
dreamed his bad sentence would become the basis for future writers and be the
name for such a bad writing contest? You see,
he is famous for "almost just right writing." <wink>
So who thought of creating
a contest where you are suppose to write badly? The BLFC was started in 1982
by the English Department at San Jose State University and the inspiration of
Professor Scott Rice. For an accurate description, further information or to
enter go to http://www.best.com~sbr/ or 
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Part II
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The contest is now 18 years
old and has resulted in 5 books compiling the winning worst sentences as well
as others. The books are all paperback and published by Penguin Books. Here
they are in the order in which they were published, starting in 1984.
1. "It Was A
Dark and Stormy Night - The funniest opening sentences from the worst
novels never written." - Scott Rice
2. "Bride of
Dark and Stormy - Yet more of the Best (?) from the Bulwer-Lytton
Contest." - Scott Rice
3. "Son of
"It was a Dark and Stormy Night - More of the Best (?) from the
Bulwer-Lytton Contest." - Scott Rice
4. "It was a
Dark and Stormy Night: The Final Conflict - Yet more of the Best (?) from
the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest." - Scott Rice
5. "Dark and
Stormy Rides Again" - Scott Rice
I had to use Bookfinder.com to acquire the older books no
longer in print.
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Part III
Now for the really really fun stuff!
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I've
created one page with excerpts from 4 of these books to get you inspired or
to help make you smile.
This
page contains NO GRAPHICS (except for the bolt to get you back here) and NO
MUSIC. It's just text for faster loading.
CLICK the BOLT! 
To get shocked by the best of the
worst!
NOT RECOMMENDED FOR YOUNG CHILDREN!
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