7/05/06
Brownielocks and
The 3 Bears
Present
Silly Dumb Fun Crazy Poems for Kids
or poems for (big kids?)
about
food!
A Thousand Hairy Savages
By Spike
Milligan
A thousand hairy savages
sitting down to lunch
Gobble Gobble glup
glup
Munch, Munch, Munch.
Prunes
By Louis Phillips
The prune is creased
From head to toe,
Or, (if I might quote
President Taft)
"The prune is wrinkled
Fore and aft...
Pity
the prune,
That misunderstood fruit.
A prune is a plum
In an unpressed
suit.
Herbert Glerbett
by Jack Prelutsky
Herbert Glerbett, rather round
swallowed sherbert by the pound.
fifty pounds of lemon sherbert
went inside of Herbert Glerbett.
With that glop inside his lap
Herbert Glerbett took a nap,
and
as he slept, the boy dissolved,
and from the mess a thing evolved---
a thing that is a ghastly green,
a thing the world had never seen,
a puddle thing, a gooey pile
of something strange that does not smile.
Now if you're wise, and if you're sly
you'll swiftly pass this creature
by,
it is no longer Herbert Glerbett,
Whatever it is, do not disturb
it.
The Silver Fish
by Shel Silverstein
While fishing in the blue lagoon,
I caught a lovely silver fish,
And he spoke to me, "My boy," quoth he,
"Please set me
free and I'll grant your wish;
A kingdom of wisdom? A palace of gold?
Or all the fancies your mind can hold?"
And I said, "O.K."
and I set him free,
But he laughed at me as he swam away,
And left
me whispering my wish
Into a silent sea.
Today I caught that fish again
(That lovely silver prince of fishes),
And once again he offered me,
If I would only set him free,
Any one
of a number of wishes,
If I would throw him back to the fishes.
He was delicious!!
When you tip the ketchup bottle,
First will come a little, then a
lot'll.
(author unknown)
Sneaky Bill
By William Cole
I'm Sneaky Bill, I'm terrible and mean and vicious,
I steal all the
cashews
from the mixed-nut dishes.
I eat all the icing but I won't
touch the cake,
And what you won't give me,
I'll go ahead and take.
I gobble up the cherries from everyone's drinks,
And whenever there are
sausages
I grab a dozen links;
I take both drumsticks if
there's
turkey or chicken,
And the biggest strawberries
are what I'm pickin';
I make sure I get the finest chop on the plate,
And I'll eat the portions
of anyone's who's late.
I'm always on the spot before the dinner bell--
I guess I'm pretty awful
but
I
do
eat
well!
Potato Chips
By Anthony Gallagher
A potato chip is something
Never ceasing to amuse.
I love it's
funny wrinkles
And the crunch way it chews.
Father Loses Weight
By X.J. Kennedy
My father lost a pound last night
He lost it where it bounces.
He cried, "Good grief! Some gross sneak-thief
Swiped my favorite
16 ounces!"
He turned the whole house upside-down,
Searched attic,
roof and basement.
He made us all line up and strip.
Our cat blinked
in amazement.
He stomped on the bathroom scale and screamed,
(He's
not the best of losers)
Until the county sheriff beamed
This call
to all police cruisers:
"Now hear this! Lost -- one pound of weight!
All cars be
on the lookout!
Last seen on Mister George McQueen
At the Cub Scout
Pop corn-cookout!
If found, the hound who pinched the pound
May be armed. This means
danger!
Take care. Prepare to shoot on sight
The least suspicious
stranger."
Alas poor Dad! He felt so sad
He ate to ease his troubles,
Six
sirloin steaks, eight wedding cakes,
And ten cheeseburgers (doubles),
But all the while he gulped French Fries
Adrip with salty suet
His
missing pound was homeward bound
With more pounds sticking to it.
Speak Clearly
By Martin Gardner
You're old enough to know, my son,
It's really awfully rude
If
someone speaks when both his cheeks
Are jammed and crammed with food.
Your mother asked you how you liked
the onions in the stew.
You stuffed
your mouth with raisin bread
And mumbled, "Vewee goo."
Then when she asked you what you said,
You took a drink of milk,
And all that we could understand
Was, "Uggle gluggle skwilk."
And now you're asking me if you
Can have more lemon Jell-O.
Please
listen carefully, "Yes, ifoo
Arstilla ungwy fello."
Eat-it-All Elaine
By Kay Starbird
I went away last August
To summer camp in Maine,
And there I met
a camper
called Eat-it-all Elaine.
Although Elaine was quiet,
She
liked to cause a stir
By acting out the nickname
Her camp-mates gave
to her.
The day of our arrival
At Cabin Number 3
When girls kept
coming over
To greet Elaine and me,
She took a piece of Kleenex
And calmly chewed it up,
Then strolled outside the cabin
And ate the
buttercup.
Elaine from that day forward
Was always in command,
On hikes, she'd eat some birch-bark
On swims, she'd eat some sand.
At meals she'd swallow prune-pits
And never have a pain,
While everyone
around her
Would giggle, "Oh Elaine!"
One morning, berry-picking,
A bug was in her pail,
And though we thought for certain
Her appetite
would fail,
Elain said, "Hmmm, a stinkbug,"
And while we
murmured, "Ooooh,"
She ate her pail of berries
And at the
stinkbug too.
The night of Final Banquet,
When Counselors were handing
Awards to different children
Whom they believed outstanding,
To every
thinking person
At summer camp in Maine
The Most Outstanding Camper
Was Eat-it-all Elaine!
If Walt Whitman Had Written Humpty Dumpty
By Frank Jacobs
O Humpty! O Humpty! You've had a fearful spill,
You've tumbled
from the stoney height,
your're lying cold and still;
Your shell is
cracked, your yolk runs out,
your breath is faint and wheezy;
You
landed as a scambled egg, instead of over easy;
The king has sent his
steeds and men
To mend you if they can;
I pray that they did not forget
To bring a frying pan.
The Friendly Cinnamon Bun
By Russell
Hoban
Shining in his stickiness and glistening with honey,
Safe among his
sisters and his brothers on a tray,
With raisin eyes that looked at me
as I put down my money,
There smiled a friendly cinnamon bun, and this
I heard him say:
"It's a lovely, lovely morning, and the world's a lovely place;
I know it's going to be a lovely day.
I know we're going to be good friends:
I like your
honest face:
Together we might to a long, long way."
The baker's girl rang up the sale. "I'll wrap your bun," she
said.
"Oh no, you needn't bother," I replied.
I smiled back
at that cinnamon bun and ate him, 1,2,3
And walked out with his friendliness
inside.
Thoughts About Oysters
By Kaye Starbird
An oyster has no hands or feet
To put itself in motion.
It never
waves or runs to meet
Companions in the ocean.
It has no mouth or
nose or eyes
Like other water creatures,
Which makes it hard to recognize
An oyster by its features.
An oyster can't go any place.
It huddles
in it's shell;
And, though it hasn't got a face,
I guess it's just
as well.
An oyster's personality
Is dull beyond expression;
And
meeting oysters suddenly
You get a poor impression.
The gayest oyster
never spends
It's time in fun or roistering,
Which means an oyster's
only friends
Are people who go an' oystering.
The people greet it
with a knife
And lemon juice---and therefore
I often think an oyster's
life
Is not a life I'd care for.
Celery
By Ogden Nash
Celery, raw,
Develops the jaw,
But celery, stewed,
Is more quietly
chewed.
Point of View
By Shel Silverstein
Thanksgiving Dinner's sad and thankless
Christmas Dinner's dark and
blue
When you stop and try to see it
From the turkey's point of view.
Sunday Dinner isn't sunny
Easter Feasts are just bad luck
When
you see it from the viewpoint
Of a chicken or a duck.
Oh how I once loved tuna salad
Pork and Lobsters-- lamb chops too
Till I stopped and looked at dinner
From the dinner's point of view.
Table Manners
By Gelett Burgess
The Goops they lick their fingers,
And the Goops they lick their knives;
They spill their broth on the table-cloth;
Oh, they live untidy lives.
The Goops they talk while eating,
And loud and fast they chew,
So
that is why I am glad that I
Am not a Goop. Are you?
Piggy
By William Cole
For breakfast I had ice cream
With pickles sliced up in it;
For
lunch, some greasy pork chops
Gobbled in a minute;
Dinner? Clams and
orange pop,
And liverwurst, slicked thick---
And now, oops! Oh pardon
me!
I'm going to be sick!
Artichokes
By Pyke Johnson, Jr.
I gave a dinner party
Where I served some artichokes.
ANd the people
burst out laughing,
Making rude remarks and jokes.
They cried, "These
things could stick us."
Then they threw them on the floor.
And
I became more angry
Than I'd ever been before.
I jumped up on the
table
And I started in to Shout,
Asking, "What were you expecting,
Hot dogs and sauerkraut?
Sure, artichokes are prickly,
But I
promise these won't hurt.
Now you pick them up and taste them
Or I
won't give you dessert."
Then the people looked embarrassed
And
they said they had to go,
Leaving artichokes all over
My new carpet
down below.
So I scooped them up and put them
On my bottom icebox
shelf
And now every day for breakfast
I enjoy one by myself.
Stan McCann's Dinner
Eddie O'Hara (c)2004
Muswellbrook, New South Wales, Australia 2333
Stan McCann
A thinking young man
Thought, "Hot sardines
are better!"
So, off he ran
And bought a can
Of sardines
for his dinner
Stan, heated the can
In a frying pan
Full
of water and let it simmer
Then, taking the can
From the frying
pan
He opened it up for dinner
On a chair sat Stan
With
fork and can
Sprinkling his salt and pepper
But, as he began
To eat from the can
He said, "Cold sardines are better!"
Moral: What may seem best, is not always best,
and sometimes
it's hard to know what's better.
Twenty
Bucks
By Darren Sardelli
When I asked dad for twenty bucks,
he said, 'Lets make a deal.
I'll give you money only if
you eat a healthy meal.'
I found him sitting
on the couch
before I went to bed.
I looked into his tired eyes
and this is what I said:
'I finished all my vegetables.
The carrots
tasted great!
I ate the piece of celery
that mom put on my plate.
The eggplant was delicious
and the string beans were divine.
The peppers
were fantastic
and the broccoli was fine.
The giant baked potato
was the highlight of my night.
The juicy red tomato
filled my belly
with delight."
My dad said he was proud of me
and handed me the cash.
I hope he
doesn't find out
all this food is in the trash!
Copyright ©
2005 Darren Sardelli
www.laughalotpoetry.com
You might also want to visit our other children's pages:
Poems for Children by Adults | Poems About Food by Children | Proverbs by Children | Birthday Wishes by Children | Kid Limericks |
Excerpts from:
"Poem Stew"
By William Cole
A collection of poems published by
Harper Collins Publishers ©
1981
Or
Poems were submitted to me by their authors to put on this page.